My due date of December 15th came and went with no definite signs of pending labor. Painless contractions had increased slightly around that time and my bones began to hurt like they were shifting and preparing for birth. But there was no indication that we were anywhere close to labor. In fact, two more weeks went by before labor actually did start. Those two weeks were so, so long! Thankfully we had friends staying with us for those two weeks who distracted me from my impatience and who helped us immensely around the house (thanks Justin and Erin!).
Once I was 41 weeks we went in for an ultrasound to make sure everything was still healthy. The fluid and placenta looked fine. All the baby's vitals checked out. But she was a little on the small side. We went again the day before I was 42 weeks. Everything was still healthy and it appeared that the baby had gained a good amount of weight, which made me very happy! Of course, Christmas came and went with a no show from the baby. I had never imagined that this wouldn't be her first Christmas! Really? TWO weeks late?!
On December 28th around 3:00 in the afternoon regular contractions began. They were still painless but they came at regular intervals. I was so thankful for some action but I began to feel really anxious once night came. In fact, I was so anxious I couldn't sleep. I really wanted to get the show on the road, and I certainly wanted to meet our little girl, but I was scared. I knew this time around how painful it could and probably would be. I slept off and on that night in our bed, on the sofa and in Max's room. I was really hungry, but it was difficult to eat. I played on the computer and talked to family some. I also texted Deborah (the midwife) before I went to bed to let her know something was happening and then again at 4:00 am because I was so anxious I didn't know what to do. She said that I must rest and that I could do it. I slept some after that.
Morning came and Max and Mike got up. I was less anxious in the daylight, but it was still difficult. The anxiety came and went. The contractions became more irregular. They still weren't painful. I really wanted to kick into labor, but I was so scared of the pending pain. I cried to Mike about it some and felt better, but the anxiety returned. I texted my friend Amy around 7:30 a.m. because I just needed to talk to someone. She told me she was coming over. She came at 10:00 and immediately began praying over me. I was overwhelmed with relief as she prayed. She kept me company until 12:00. It was still really difficult to eat because of the anxiety that kept coming and going. I realized that a big part of my anxiety was that I didn't feel like I could adequately care for Max at that time. I was so concerned that he wasn't getting the attention from me that he needed. So, as we had planned beforehand, Max went to back to Amy's house with her to stay until labor was over. Amy is married and has a one-year old. They live a five minute drive (or fifteen minutes, depending on traffic : ) from our house. Max is very comfortable with them, and it really put my mind at ease that he was at there house having a good time. Amy texted Mike periodically to let him know how Max was doing. He had a blast the whole time! This really allowed me to relax.
Besides the fact that I realized it would help me relax to send Max with Amy, the contractions were picking up in frequency and intensity by noon the 29th. Before Amy left I texted Deborah to let her know the contractions were about every six minutes and about 30 or 40 seconds long. I knew it was still early, but Deborah lived about an hour away and I didn't want to wait too long. She agreed that it was early but said she and her partner midwife would come out after they ate lunch.
Deborah and her mom have lived in the Philippines for many years. They head up a birthing home about an hour from our house. Deborah was recommended to me by several other missionaries when I was asking about peoples' birth experiences here in Manila. Though we were skeptical about a home birth (mostly because traffic is so unpredictable here and we were worried about how long it would take to transport to a hospital in case of emergency), we visited the birthing home and instantly felt at ease with Deborah and her mom. They were convinced that home birth was the better option for us rather than coming out to the birthing home to give birth. We agreed. Every time I would visit the birthing home or Deborah's home for a prenatal visit I would feel comfortable and at ease. Deborah was always very reassuring and empowering. She never made me feel uncomfortable or ashamed about concerns I had or decisions I made. I would always leave visits with her feeling excited about the birth and confident that we had made the right decision.
Deborah and Lorni, a Filipina midwife, arrived at our house a little after 1:00 p.m. Though Deborah doesn't usually check for dilation she agreed to see how far along I was to determine what we should do next. I was only about 4 cm dilated. She said that they could stay or leave, whatever helped me relax more. She had a little talk with me to say that I could hold this thing back longer by being uptight or I could let go and let it happen. It was a choice I could make at that point. Mike and I talked and prayed about it and we decided that we wanted them to stay so that I could feel free to let go and allow the process to happen. They were perfectly happy to stay. We all talked for a while and I hung up some verses I had prepared earlier in our bedroom and in the living room. Deborah took a nap in Max's bed and Lorni in the guest room while Mike and I rested in our room. Mike took a couple naps that day assuming that we would be up all night laboring. I was actually able to rest some and the contractions began getting more intense. Sometimes they hurt a lot and sometimes not much. Anxiety came and went at this point. But as labor got more intense I forgot about anxiety.
Finally I decided I needed a change. Lorni was up talking with our helper, Ate Merly ("Ate" means "older sister" and is a common title used here for a female older than oneself). It is customary to have a helper here, so we have one who comes three days a week to help out with household work. She has been an incredible blessing to our family, and it was no different on this day! I asked if they could start setting up the pool that the birthing home had loaned us. Mike came out and they all three worked on setting it up in the living room. Mike told me later that he didn't feel like we needed to put it up yet. He felt it was premature. I was also unsure if I was ready for it yet, but I had to do something different at this point. It was about 5:00 when the pool was set up. Deborah came out at that time as well. She watched me work through the contractions. They were two minutes apart and getting really painful. She was sure I was ready for the pool. I got in for about an hour, and it helped me relax some. The warm water felt good. The contractions continued to intensify.
The midwives monitored the baby's heartbeat with a doppler and felt that her heartbeat was too fast. Deborah asked me to get out for a while and try a different position to see if her heart rate would go down. Thankfully it did as I labored standing up and squatting in an upright position. I did that for about an hour and then decided to get back in the pool. By that time it was about 7:00 p.m. The contractions were really hard by this time, but I kept telling myself that it was going to be hours yet. I didn't want to freak out just yet and run out of steam before the end. Lorni checked the baby's heartbeat every other contraction and it stayed steady. I breathed some of the oxygen that they brought. Deborah kept reminding me after every contraction to keep breathing. It was good she did because I kept forgetting to stay on top of it in between contractions.
Both Deborah and Mike kept telling me how well I was doing. Their encouragement really helped. Mike and Ate brought me water, gatorade and gatorade popsicles to drink and eat to keep me hydrated. They all took turns pouring warm water over my back while I labored kneeling on the side of the pool. Sometimes the warm water felt good. Sometimes I didn't like it and I would bat the poor person away. In between contractions I would rest against the sturdy side of the pool. When a contraction came I would lift my body up with my arms to a squatting position to work through it. My hands, face and legs got all numb and tingly so Deborah had me breathe into a paper bag.
The contractions were so extremely painful now, and I began to feel panicky. I kept telling myself not to lose it because this was going to continue for hours. It began to get difficult to breath properly during the contractions. Deborah kept telling me that I was close. I would shake my head and say (at least in my head, I don't know if said it out loud), "No, I'm not." I didn't want to think it was soon if it was still hours away! I thought Deborah was just trying to help me think positively.
I began to feel an urge to push around 8:00. I was still in the pool leaning on the side. Each time a contraction came I would visualize myself opening up and a head coming out. I worked hard to keep my mind on top of it--allowing myself to accept the pain and open up. The feeling of pressure was incredible! I asked Deborah if it was ok to push. She said she couldn't immediately feel the head, but that I should do what I feel like doing. She said that whether I pushed or not the baby would come out. I just needed to keep breathing. I was afraid it was too soon to push. The bag of waters still hadn't ruptured, so I was afraid the pushing part would be more difficult. But I felt the urge to push. The next contraction that came I pushed a little bit. I think the bag of waters broke at this point, I'm not sure. The second one that came I pushed hard and the head popped out! Deborah peeled the bag away from the baby (or so Mike told me). The next one came and I pushed again. I felt the body come tumbling out! Deborah reached out to catch the baby since I didn't automatically do it myself. I think that was partly because I didn't realize she was already coming out!
It was 8:21 p.m., three and 1/2 hours after the intense labor had started. Mike and I were shocked! I couldn't believe she was already out! I sat down in the pool against the side and she handed me the baby. We wrapped her in a towel but still had her submerged in the warm water. She made a little peep, but no cry. She seemed content to just lay against my chest. Thankfully, my waters were clear even though she was inside for an extra two weeks. The only time she cried was when I lifted her out of the water a little bit to arrange her. I'm not sure why, but I almost immediately checked to see if she really was a girl. Yes. Mike asked a few minutes later if anyone had checked to see.
She instantly wanted to nurse. Mike called our parents to let them know she was here. Eventually Lorni clamped the cord and Mike cut it. I just stared at her and said over and over, "I can't believe it's over!", and "She's beautiful", and "Praise Jesus!" It was simply amazing!
I remember looking at the clock around 8:00 p.m. and thinking how wonderful it would be if she was born before 8:30, Max's bed time, so that Max could come home that night. I considered that a ridiculous thought at the time. I looked at the clock right after the birth and realized that Max was probably still up. I told Mike to call Amy and Edwin right away to bring Max home. I was so happy that we didn't have to spend one night away from him! Mike called Edwin. Amy was getting the boys ready for bed. They agreed to come right away.
I'm not sure how long I was in the pool after the birth, maybe 15 or 20 minutes. I got out to deliver the placenta after handing the baby to Mike. He took his shirt off to hold her so that she would stay warm. I delivered the placenta on the birthing stool. I didn't care what was happening, I was so euphoric.
A couple people, I think Deborah and Ate, helped me to our bed. Ate had made it up with a shower curtain under the sheets and hospital pads on top. And believe me, adult diapers are a great way to keep things clean : ). Then they brought the baby to me so I could nurse her. By that time Amy and Edwin showed up with Max. Mike brought Max in and he peeked at the baby. Between being away from Mommy and Daddy for about eight hours, our house being filled with people, a pool being in the living room which he wasn't allowed to get into, and the baby crying he was overwhelmed. Poor little guy! Mike was able to calm him down and put him to bed, and he was better in the morning.
We talked to family and updated our friends on facebook. I ate and showered and ate some more. The midwives checked the baby over and gave her a vitamin K shot. They eventually weighed her and it said 6 pounds. We didn't believe it because she seemed bigger (however, the other scale that Deborah brought two days later also said six pounds). She was 19.5 inches long. They checked my blood pressure and all that and hung around till 10:30. Our amazing helper stayed until about 11:30! It was hard to sleep that night, I was so happy and excited!
We named her a couple days later. Alana Evelyn Wagner. Alana is close to the Hebrew word for oak tree. I love the sound of "Alana" (uh LAW na), and I love the pictures in the Bible (Psalms and Jeremiah) of the tree planted by the water, bearing fruit and being a home for many creatures. Evelyn is my Grandmother's first name (though she goes by her middle name, Bea). I love her and miss her (since we live so far away) so much, and want to honor her. And now, three weeks after naming her, I feel like her name is a perfect fit.
It's sad to not have family around during this time of transition. It truly is. However, we are so thankful for our many friends who helped us before, during and after the birth! We certainly have felt the presence of Jesus with us through all of them! Thank you so much to Deborah and Lorni, Ate Merly, Justin and Erin, Amy and Edwin (and Josiah!), Matt and Abbie, Erin Johnson, Peter and Tosca, Sarah, Claire, Kim, Cheryl, Val and Nate, Decai and Reena, Kuya Romy and Jeff, Katerina, Robyn, Maria (this is dangerous, because I have for sure forgotten someone) for your emotional support, visits, food, gifts, help with shopping, encouragement, prayers and listening ears. You all mean so much to us! I am also so thankful for our family and friends back home who have prayed for us, encouraged us and sent us cards and baby things. A special thanks to Melissa for the beautiful poem you wrote especially for Alana! We love you all and can't wait for you to meet our little Alana.
